How to Make an Omelet in Tabora

This overdue post was originally going to be accompanied by photos, but my MacBook is sick and being tended to at the nearest Apple store...in Nairobi :( In the meantime, use your imagination!

How to Make an Omelet in Tabora

1. Locate a house with chickens. (The sign "KUKU WAPO" - "Chickens are here" - is a good clue.)
   


2. Rehearse the Swahili for "Do you sell eggs here?" Wrack your brain to remember whether the word for "egg" is in the n-class, or the m-wa class, or the...screw it. "Egg here?" will do fine.



3. Knock on door and prepare to engage in the traditional rapid-fire greeting exchange. This piece is crucial. Make sure you've asked about her news, her morning, her work, her house and her children in rapid succession before continuing. If you can get onto on the asking side, you retain control of the situation and you avoid getting tripped up by questions you don't understand. If you end up on the answering side, switch up your "Fine" answer between "Nzuri," "Salama," "Safi," and "Njema" to make it seem like your vocabulary is vast and versatile.



4. Conduct your negotiation. Nod enthusiastically when the woman answers in a stream of incomprehensible Swahili. Pool 2500 shillings and triumphantly claim your 15 eggs.



5. Carry the eggs home gingerly. On the way, grab onions and tomatoes at the corner veggie stand (extra points if you already bought them cheaper at the covered market in town).
   


6. Crack each egg into a separate bowl BEFORE throwing them all together. You never know when you'll find a rotted yolk...or an unhatched chick. I wish I was kidding.



7. Turn on gas, light match, and attempt to light stove.



8. Attempt again.



9. Stick face near burner to see if you can detect gas coming out.



10. Look forlornly at bowl of yolk. Go next door and report problem to neighbor in broken Swahili: "We want to cook but stove problems!" Invite neighbor in to investigate, then watch curiously as she quickly disappears into her kitchen.



11. Race to open the door when you see her coming back, hauling a flaming charcoal stove with her bare hands. Help her place it squarely in the middle of your kitchen floor.



12. Reassess your development practitioner's standpoint on indoor cookstoves. Decide that a little respiratory disease is less important than your hunger.



13. Place skillet full of eggs and veggies on cookstove and cook normally.



14. Enjoy!

Addendum: Having refilled our gas tank, we've since graduated to pancakes, though we have not yet arrived at the level of "hibiscus sorbet" recently pulled off by our neighbors from the UK. Will keep you all posted on our newest adventures, culinary and otherwise!